50 Talladega Nights Quotes That Never Fail to Entertain

Talladega Nights Quotes, Talladega Nights: The Ballad of Ricky Bobby is a 2006 American sports comedy film directed by Adam McKay and starring Will Ferrell. The movie follows the life of fictional NASCAR driver Ricky Bobby and explores themes of friendship, family, and the pursuit of greatness in the world of professional racing.

Talladega Nights Quotes

“If you ain’t first, you’re last!” – Ricky Bobby (iconic and frequently misquoted as “If you’re not first, you’re nothing.”)

Talladega Nights Quotes

“Shake and bake!” – Ricky Bobby & Cal Naughton, Jr. (their signature victory celebration)

“I wanna go fast!” – Ricky Bobby (summarizes his entire life philosophy)

“I feel like I was riding inside an asteroid or a comet or something.” – Ricky Bobby (after a particularly wild race)

“Shake hands with the damn fool!” – Ricky Bobby (refusing to hold hands with Jean Girard)

“Dear Lord baby Jesus, lying there in your little ghost manger… learning about shapes and colors…” – Ricky Bobby (his unique prayer)

“He’s like a white chocolate Milky Way. A Milky Way that can drive a race car.” – Ricky Bobby (describing Cal)

“If Ricky Bobby can fly a plane, you can climb this mountain!” – Jean Girard (motivational, but totally wrong)

“You got big. How long’s it been? Three, four months?” – Reese Bobby / “Ten years.” – Ricky Bobby (“Ten years? Man, I’ve gotta lay off the peyote.”)

“We go together like cocaine and waffles.” – Cal Naughton, Jr. (on his and Ricky’s partnership)

“He rubs me the wrong way the right way.” – Carley Bobby (on Ricky)

“With all due respect… you suck.” – Jean Girard (direct, if not respectful)

“I like to picture Jesus in a tuxedo T-shirt. ‘Cause it says like, I wanna be formal but I’m here to party too. I like to party, so I like my Jesus to party.” – Cal Naughton, Jr. (his unconventional Jesus image)

“It’s the fastest who gets paid and it’s the fastest who gets laid.” – Ricky Bobby (his life motto, part 2)

“If you ain’t got no fear, you ain’t got no fight.” – Ricky Bobby (motivational, for once)

“If you ain’t got no swag, you ain’t got nothin’.” – Ricky Bobby (his definition of success)

Talladega Nights Quotes

“I like to think of Jesus as an Ice Dancer, dressed in an all-white jumpsuit, and doing an interpretive dance of my life.” – Cal Naughton, Jr. (another Jesus vision)

“Cal, that is a new house! It just has a lot of creaks and moans and groans in it!” – Ricky Bobby (his explanation for the haunted house noises)

“Get back, I’ll windmill ya!” – Ricky Bobby (his threat to Cal)

“I am Ricky Bobby.” – Ricky Bobby (introducing himself, with characteristic confidence)

“Now, there’s nothing like driving to avoid jail.” – Ricky Bobby (on his priorities)

“Holding hands with a man makes me terribly uncomfortable.” – Ricky Bobby (on his social awkwardness)

“The ninjas are trying to get me.” – Ricky Bobby (his delusions after peyote)

“You don’t drive with your eyes, you drive with your heart.” – Ricky Bobby (his unconventional driving philosophy)

“Down, Karen! Get down! Get down, Karen!” – Ricky Bobby (to his dog, during a chaotic moment)

Ricky Bobby:

“Shake and bake and a steak and shake!” (celebrating with food)

“If you ain’t got no sand, you ain’t got no beach!” (his unique motivational speech)

“With all due respect, your country sucks!” (to Jean Girard)

“I don’t know what a metaphor is, but I ain’t one!” (on metaphors)

“I was born a champion, and that’s exactly what I’m gonna be!” (his unwavering self-belief)

“You’re not gonna live forever. No one lives forever. But with advances in modern science and my high level income, it’s not crazy to think I can live to be 245, maybe 300.” (on longevity)

“I like to picture Jesus in a tuxedo T-shirt. ‘Cause it says like, I wanna be formal but I’m here to party too.” (more Jesus visions)

“I wet my bed until I was nineteen. There’s no shame in that.” (embracing his imperfections)

“Ricky Bobby: God doesn’t have favorites. God doesn’t care about NASCAR! Jean Girard: Then why did he make Jesus a carpenter? Ricky Bobby: Maybe he wanted him to build a bigger racetrack!” (debating on God’s interests)

Cal Naughton Jr.:

“I’m like a French Van Gogh. Sensitive on the inside, but with all the class of, like, a shiny Porsche.” (on his inner self)

“We go together like cocaine and waffles.” (on his and Ricky’s partnership, again)

“Did you eat some peanut butter or something?” (to Ricky who doesn’t understand French)

“He rubs me the wrong way the right way.” (on his feelings for Ricky)

“I like to picture Jesus as an Ice Dancer, dressed in an all-white jumpsuit, and doing an interpretive dance of my life.” (one of many Jesus visualizations)

“It’s like… Spanish for like a fighting chicken.” (his attempt to translate Ricky’s nonsensical phrase)


Talladega Nights quotes have become ingrained in popular culture, showcasing the film’s humor, satire, and enduring appeal. These quotes continue to entertain audiences and serve as a testament to the film’s lasting legacy in the world of comedy.

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